My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize