dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
