you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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