too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
