i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize