She's JV to your varsity
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
