i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
