Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The best revenge is premature balding
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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