I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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