This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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