I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
