Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
