i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
