I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
