Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
