sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
