i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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