So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
