You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
