you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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