Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
