I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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