it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
