brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just saw a hot homeless man
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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