We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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