a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
