is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
