it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
