you mean i was at the winter classic?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
