im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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