Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
