put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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