Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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