Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
