haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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