she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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