Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Send help, water and tortillas.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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