Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i already hear my dad disowning me

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  (814): i already hear my dad disowning me http://tfl.nu/x26e
  Replies (2) Good night (2223) Bad night (768)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear

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  (802): it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear http://tfl.nu/jyif
  Replies (2) Good night (1860) Bad night (619)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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  (330): Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up http://tfl.nu/ip0y
  Replies (13) Good night (677) Bad night (3041)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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  (+64): apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing. http://tfl.nu/xl08
  Replies (36) Good night (4210) Bad night (618)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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  (225): Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee http://tfl.nu/zf15
  Replies (29) Good night (5912) Bad night (1259)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

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  (808): You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone. http://tfl.nu/k63s
  Replies (8) Good night (1161) Bad night (5292)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!

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  (248): I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there! http://tfl.nu/8urv
  Replies (14) Good night (2505) Bad night (3568)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

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  (618): You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/feuh
  Replies (9) Good night (5219) Bad night (908)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.

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  (678): We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k4wd
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (1441)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often

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  (902): Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often http://tfl.nu/p8eg
  Replies (14) Good night (1639) Bad night (545)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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  (401): Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen? http://tfl.nu/0v6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2408) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.

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  (570): If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it. http://tfl.nu/cvsi
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.

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  (602): "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/6e83
  Replies (0) Good night (209) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!

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  (617): I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin! http://tfl.nu/nomz
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have suspicion of morning wood.

  (281): View more from Texas

  How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?

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  (832): I have suspicion of morning wood. (281): How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis? http://tfl.nu/x95m
  Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (240)

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