He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal