I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life