I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.