are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
