I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
