I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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