you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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