Got a toothbrush?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mom said you looked used
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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