How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
