How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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