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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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