you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
