Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Pappa wants mamma naked
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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