i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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