not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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