last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
