Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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