She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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