Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
