It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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