Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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