I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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