He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
