some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Panties = found
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
