I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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