I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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