is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my liver is dry heaving
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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