A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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