In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
