Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
