coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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