Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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