I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
