I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
