i think i have two assholes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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