My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year