Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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