Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
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So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.