Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
